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The Author Is Dead

Juliano Zaffino - The Author Is Dead - Blog

Open / Unmoored

Juliano Zaffino

 'Run aground in search of clarity / The borderless homestead Heteroland'

'Run aground in search of clarity / The borderless homestead Heteroland'

Open

Love is a closed door
And I am an axe-wielding maniac
Who doesn’t even try the handle
I just want to get through
To be in the same room as you
Put your hands over my eyes
And blind me to a world I’ve never loved

The more that I am craving
Is in your desperate, fleeting grasp
Give me everything I want
It is not enough
A life so perfectly formed
Has nothing to do with me
Is lost far out at sea, capsizing

Our married friends could never understand
That there are unions
Unsanctified in Heteroland
That renegade affection is a grenade
In the hand of hate, the pin is in mine

Our married friends have less love to give
They are selfishly surviving
Jealous of others’ finite resources

And even the cynic has more love to give
Spending it liberally, lovingly,
“My cup, she never overfloweth”,
His love is ever growing

*

Unmoored

I’m a homo
I wander the street
I wonder what’s here for me
Between the knife-edge of fear
And toxic masculinity
Dimly lit in the pre-midnight haze
My shoes a clicking signal
hit-me hit-me hit-me
And the beasts swarming
And the horror unfolding
“Relentlessly restless”
Pushing, doors and walls
And freight trains stopping

I’m a homo
I am writing it all down
Because my heirs will need it
This map of the land’s cancers
A depiction of bloodlines
Intersecting darkly with the river
When was the world ever less mine
Than in the dark, in this shirt?
Adrift in memories of men
And the madness that brought me here
Missing an anchor
I make a note, won’t let it go

I’m a homo
I am looking for: “sanctuary”
It’s more important than love
Or right now with a stranger
Hard to find safety in a wasps’ nest
Coated in your own sugary blood
And born to disrupt the climate
I just want to blend
It’s a crime to be so distinct
To stain the whites of their eyes
I look in books, I look online
I look in space, for: “sanctuary”

I’m a homo
Alone

I’m a homo
Roaming

I’m a fucking homo
I am urban flotsam and debris
The city moves me outside farther
Says please, keep moving,
Wants me out of Heteroland
A pollutant to family values
And catastrophic agent
Of society’s epic decay
Sinner unwelcome in heaven
Or my hometown, a target
Moving out of sight quick,
Quick now moving, invisible faggot
With no port to stop me
Cartographic expedition
Run aground in search of clarity
The borderless homestead Heteroland
I am I am I am I am I am